


i've been drowning in my own sleep (rescue me)

by bubblegumbrunette



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5834104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumbrunette/pseuds/bubblegumbrunette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's strangely become a regular thing to happen; Theo will come round Stiles' after school most days and will end up spending the night. They happen to share the same bed every night, all physical boundaries that were once there are totally gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.

_'i know i'm finding it hard to breathe_  
and i've been drowning in my own sleep  
and i feel a hate crashing over me  
so rescue me'

Night time is a time Stile's dreads, he puts off going to bed as much as he possibly can because that's when he's not in control and the nightmares _are_. Before they were bearable to an extent, after what happened to his dad with the chimera though… now they have him in night sweats, gasping for air and bordering being sleep deprived. He can't lose his dad, _he can't_.

Stiles knew he was causing his dad to worry with barely sleeping so tonight, he slipped into bed at the reasonable time of 10:30pm and stared up at his ceiling trying to not work himself up into a panic about what he was going to have to endure tonight. Stiles shook his head slightly; he needed to think of something _different_. That's when the thought of just leaving Beacon Hills crossed his mind, how _easy_ it could be to leave this town without a look back. His dad could transfer somewhere else, they could go anywhere. Maybe even get a one way plane ticket to a new country… England, Australia, Greece, Spain… the choices were endless. Stiles could do some research on it.

Werewolves, kanima's, darach's, alpha packs, kitsune's, nogitsune's, banshee's, whatever the hell Parrish is and the dread doctors… it's never ending and Stiles had had enough, he yearned to be back when Scott was just figuring out how to manage his new found lycanthropy and having to occasionally deal with Derek. It was somehow oddly simple back then, he had been so blissfully naïve.

"Dad?" Stiles asked looking at his father laid out on the hospital bed "I'm gonna stay right here okay, I'm right here dad."

The steady beep of the heart machine had oddly offered Stiles some comfort, knowing his dad's heart was still beating and he was still with him… _until_ the machine made the stomach lurching noise of flat lining. "Dad?" Stiles asked as time slowed down "Dad!"

"Stiles!" A voice said. He's being pulled back by nurses as he tried to move forward to be beside his dad but there are so many cold hands pulling him away and out of the room, he's trying to fight his way back into the room because the lights have gone out and the nurses are cold and faceless, the lights come back on to reveal three faceless doctors with tools that don't look like they are for bringing someone back to life. "DAD!" Stiles shouted wanting to be heard above the buzzing noise.

With a final yank by a nurse, Stiles is falling backwards and he jolts as the cold water hits him so unexpectedly. The stream is moving too fast and he can't comprehend how to move his limbs and he's sinking, he can't breathe, his dad…

He's coughing as he sits upright in bed immediately, chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to take in as much oxygen as possible. Tears stung at his eyes and he can feel his shirt sticking to him. He's vision focused and he could see his dad sitting next to him on the bed with a look of worry. Stiles grabbed his dad's forearms "You're here," he murmured, his throat sore.

His dad has a frown on his face "I'm here," he said softly before bringing Stiles in for a bone crushing hug "I'm here son." He murmured.

Stiles tensed for a moment before hugging his dad back, he was hot and sticky but his hands felt freezing cold. He could still hear the heart machine flat line in his ears and the tears stinging his eyes fell. "You were gone," Stiles gasped out "the machine- you _left_ me- I was… I was drowning."

"Stiles you were _screaming_ ," His dad said "you kept moving around, you didn't say the night terrors were back."

Stiles tightened his hold on his dad slightly, slowly being comforted by the very steady rise and fall of his dad's chest. "They never went," he said through a yawn "they were bearable but since you were attacked… they've been worse."

He felt his dad run a hand through his damp hair as he felt exhaustion hit him like a wave, he wasn't going back to sleep again. The only reason he had gone to bed so early was to keep his dad from worrying. "I'm here now," he said "I'd never leave you."

* * *

 

_'those thoughts are not required_  
but you're all fucking vampires to me, to me  
emergency, help  
emergency'

He's tired, he _knows_ he looked terrible and he didn't need his peers looking at him sympathetically as if they _know_ how he's feeling or what he's going through. They couldn't possibly _understand_ the shit that he's had to put up with. He closed his locker with some extra unnecessary force.

"…Hey," Scott said "how are you feeling?" he asked almost sounding genuine, or maybe he was being genuine. Stiles didn't care. He felt emotionless, a bit like a walking zombie. Maybe that could be added to the list of shit that had turned up in Beacon Hills; he wanted to laugh at the idea. Maybe Stiles had finally snapped and gone insane.

Stiles turned to look at his best friend or… well his former best friend, he didn't know these days where he stood with anyone. "Do you really care Scott?" he asked, internally cringing at how crap he sounded.

Scott had the audacity to look offended "Of course I care Stiles," he said softly "you're my best frie-"

"-Stop," Stiles said cutting the alpha off "let's just cut the crap okay, we've not been right for a while," he added "right now I want some space for a while."

Scott looked pained "Stiles," he said sounding hurt "I heard your dad on the phone to my mom, he said you weren't sleeping."

"Stop, Scott! Just… give me some space," Stiles sighed as he turned to walk in the direction of his next class. Scott reached out to touch his arm and Stiles flinched away from him "don't… don't touch me."

Scott looked slightly taken aback at his reaction "How much space do you need?" he asked sounding sad "what if… what if this is it for us?" he asked.

Stiles remembered a time when he had the same fear but too much had happened between then and now, namely Donovan. Stiles would wake up in the night close to throwing up as he remembered the look on Scott's face, how he'd taken a step away from Stiles. "I don't know Scott," Stiles said emotionlessly "I don't know." he repeated before turning his back on Scott and heading to class. If he saw Theo at the end of the hallway with a slight smirk on his face then he walked straight past the boy feeling like he was in a daze.

He was sat in his usual seat for class when he jolted slightly in surprise when Theo took a seat behind him, shuffling forward ever so slightly so that when he leant forward he could whisper into Stiles' ear. "Sorry to hear about you and Scott," he said, he didn't sound remorseless in the slightest.

If Stiles had been more with it, he'd have realised he shared all of his classes with Theo and Scott today. Scott had sat a couple rows away from Stiles but he could feel the alpha's gaze on him. "Funny how your tone suggests otherwise," Stiles responded to Theo.

Theo was smirking, Stiles knew it. "He wasn't there; he didn't know how close Donovan came to killing you, it was you or Donovan." Theo said softly.

Stiles exhaled as he tried to ignore Theo. "It's like I said the other day Stiles," Theo said softly, his breath hitting the back of Stile's neck "if Scott was really your best friend he'd have paid attention to how this has affected you."

"I'm trying to listen," Stiles said flatly.

Maybe when he got home he could research airfares or new police departments, it couldn't hurt to know the prices and the miles that it could take to get away from here. Stiles didn't know if he even wanted to stay in the same _state_ anymore. So for the rest of the lesson Stiles took to making a list. One half of the page is other states he wouldn't mind moving to and the other half of the page consisted of country's that he liked the sound of.

* * *

 

_'so pull every pin from every grenade_  
and blow it all up in my face boom  
make everything louder do it till my skin vibrates  
make everything louder i wanna hear my eardrums ring  
more volts in the system drown out the symptoms'

Stiles was cold, why was he so cold? Someone was grabbing him, why was someone grabbing him?

"I'm sorry," Stiles gasped out as Donovan's grip tightened on his arms "I'm so sorry, you were going to kill me, it was self-defence."

Donovan looked pretty pissed "You're coming to join me," he said angrily "you take my life, I take yours. Fairs fair right?"

Stiles tried to shake off Donovan but the boy had hold of him pretty tight "No," Stiles said as he tried to stop Donovan from moving them any further, he can hear the rushing of the water up ahead "no." he added.

"Stiles," A voice he vaguely recognised said, he couldn't place the face to the voice. He knew who it was, why couldn't he… he tried to shake Donovan off again.

"Poor Sheriff Stilinski," Donovan said in a cold voice "first his wife left him and now his son as well."

Stiles could see the river up ahead and he almost tripped over a twig as Donovan practically dragged him along. He squinted as a light from the other side of the river appeared and seemed to get bigger and bigger, the brightness illuminating his surroundings and hurting his eyes.

"Get off of-" Stiles said as he tugged his arms violently out of Donovan's grip to only stumble slightly and placed a hand over his eyes as the woods and the rushing sound of the river disappeared and instead he stood in the middle of a road, barefoot and squinting at the boy who stood near the bright head lights of a car "Theo?" he asked as Stiles started to recognise the boys features.

Theo stepped forward slightly, coming into a clearer view for Stiles. "I did try to get you out of the road," he said "but you were screaming and trying to push me away. I didn't want to hurt you."

Stiles looked around again, he had never sleepwalked before. This was new. "I…" he said "where am I?" he asked instead.

"Not far from yours," Theo said softly "I can drive you back if you want."

Stiles wanted to protest and tell Theo he could shove his offer up where the sun don't shine, he didn't trust the boy as far as he could throw him _yet_ Stiles was stood out in the middle of a road, barefoot in his pyjamas and freezing cold. "If it doesn't put you out," Stiles said "what time is it anyway?" he asked as he realised how violently he was shivering from the cold.

Theo just opened the passenger door for Stiles to get in and cranked the heating up in the car; it was like sitting in a big warm blanket. The warmth had him practically curling up in the seat and closing his eyes. "Don't let me go to sleep," Stiles said pleadingly.

"You need to sleep Stiles," Theo said as they drove back to Stiles' house "you're making yourself ill and everyone at school can see how exhausted you look."

Stiles sighed "If I could sleep don't you think I would?" he snapped.

"Okay," Theo said sounding equally as annoyed "Firstly you could literally die in a car crash because of driving when you're tired not to mention the fact that sleep deprivation could lead to you becoming depressed and then suicidal, there are metabolic changes that can occur and that can cause diabetes mellitus or how about gaining weight and dying from obesity. How does that sound to you Stiles? You are literally heading in that direction with what you're doing to yourself." He added with his voice getting louder and louder before finishing and taking an audible breath.

Stiles was sort of glad for Theo's little outburst because it had him focusing on something instead of how warm and tired he felt. "Well thank you for the enlightening doom and gloom of my future Doctor Raeken, when the hell did you get so knowledgeable about lack of sleep anyway?" he asked.

Theo looked reluctant to answer for a moment or so before he said "I googled it,"

"Wait," Stiles said "have you been compiling a list of reasons as to why I should get a proper night's sleep?" he asked oddly amused and still fully suspicious.

Theo shrugged lightly as he pulled into Stiles' driveway "Anyone can see how you're barely functioning," he said "I don't know if this has anything to do with Scott-"

"-it's not about Scott," Stiles interrupted immediately "it's about almost losing my dad because of the chimera attack you probably orchestrated on him, it's about seeing Donovan in my dreams every night dragging me to a river, it's about losing my friends and it's… it's about this town!" he said ranting off all the reasons he couldn't sleep.

Theo was silent as he cut the engine of the car "I've told you I'm not the bad guy here," he said softly "I care about you Stiles."

"You don't know me," Stiles pointed out "like I don't know you."

Theo fixed him with a look "We both know that's not true," he said "I know your secrets and you know mine."

Stiles leaned his head back against the headrest and looked out the windscreen at the stars shining innocently above his house. "When I was younger I used to sleep with my curtains open," he said "I still do. There's this star, it seems to be the brightest star in the sky in comparison to the others. I used to think it was my mom's way of watching over me… now it makes me feel sick to think of her watching over me because I don't think she'd like what she's seen." He admitted softly into the car, he didn't know why he even told Theo that but it seemed appropriate according to the mood in the car.

He felt more than saw Theo reach his hand over and rest it on top of Stiles'. "Donovan wasn't your fault; he was going to kill you. Stiles it was in self-defence and in a tense situation. I know I gave you shit for it… but I thought it would get you to understand how I felt about Josh. All you've ever done is help Scott and fight to survive the creatures that are drawn to Beacon Hills, I'm sure she'd be proud of you." Theo said.

Stiles didn't mind the silence that followed.

* * *

 

_'i push all my problems to the back of my brain_  
_a darkness deep inside where i just can't find my way_  
_how can i walk with a smile just get on with my day  
_ _when i deceived myself pretending it's all okay'_

Stiles felt warm and comfortable, that much he can tell. Its morning by the way the sunlight is hitting is face and that's when he realised he's in his bed, he's been asleep with no nightmares and he's being used as a little spoon. The realisation has him feeling confused.

"Morning," A sleepy sounding Theo murmured into Stile's back.

Stiles sat right up then and prodded Theo a couple of times to make sure this was not a dream "What the…" he exclaimed "how did you end up in my bed!?" he asked.

Theo didn't appear to be too bothered with Stiles poking him, he just continued to lay there with an arm thrown over his face as he said "You fell asleep in my car so I carried you back up to your room," and then he added "I didn't think you'd remember this but you asked me to stay and when I said that in the morning you would grill me, you grabbed my arm and said you wanted me to stay."

Theo was right; Stiles definitely didn't remember any of that. He remembered the car; he'd slept walked into the middle of the road.

"Oh," is all Stiles said before he stood up "I might have a couple clothes that fit you unless you're going home."

Theo groaned as he buried his head under the pillows "I'll wear whatever," he said "just five more minutes and then I'll get sorted for school."

Stiles didn't want to find Theo looking all sleepy and asking for five more minutes cute, he really _didn't_ want to think of him like that. "You'll wear whatever?" he asked "interesting choice of words Raeken."

After that, the morning routine was a bit of a blur. All he knew was Theo Raeken looked illegally good in a red plaid shirt and black jeans; it was ridiculous how Theo could pull of Stiles clothes better than Stiles could. Theo's words kind of played in Stiles head on a loop during the car ride to school. " _I care about you Stiles_ ," and " _I also came back for you_."

Stiles knew he was about to step into a school where Scott would probably _smell_ that Stiles smelled like Theo and vice versa, somehow he managed to muster up a small worry but he couldn't find it in him to be bothered.

"You want to quit drooling Stilinski?" Theo asked sounding smug with a grin; it almost felt like playful banter. It almost resembled something akin to normal.

Stiles rolled his eyes "You want to deflate that ego a bit Raeken?" he shot back, trying to not be amused by the small shove Theo gave him.

"You should stop drooling over me then," Theo said "it does wonders for this ego of mine."

Stiles scoffed as they walked down the hallway towards his locker, he wondered idly how he had found himself stuck with Theo. "Such modesty," Stiles commented.

It happened to be Stiles' luck that Scott was at his locker gathering books when Stiles opened his locker feeling a bit awkward at how disastrously their friendship had broken down.

Theo had gestured down at himself "Who needs modesty when I have a body like mine?" he asked with a playful grin.

Stiles didn't find that funny, he _definitely_ didn't want to laugh at that. "Ass," he said instead.

Scott slammed his locker shut causing Stiles to jump out of his skin and Theo to smirk. "You two _reek_ of each other," he said "I didn't realise that when you said you wanted space away from me it was because you wanted to get buddied up with _him_. I didn't think you even liked him and here you two are flaunting your new found whatever in my face." He ranted.

Stiles was angry at the insinuation of Scott's words. "I feel like saving my life warrants being nice even for a little bit," Stiles said.

"Saving your…" Scott said slowly.

Theo stepped in then leaning up against Stiles' back, probably making the situation worse. "Found him sleep walking in the middle of the road last night, so like any good _friend_ I listened to him and stayed with him to make sure he was okay." He said.

"Oh my god," Stiles murmured shaking his head slightly as he moved away from the two werewolves and headed down to his class.

* * *

 

_'nothing can breathe in the space_  
_colder than the darkest sea_  
_i have dreams about the days driving through your sunset breeze_  
_but the first thing that i will do  
_ _is bury my love for you'_

Stiles was typing away and scrolling through endless pages of web pages as his research went underway regarding states and countries. He had somehow gotten stuck with Theo; the boy was currently laid on Stiles' bed reading a book idly.

"England wouldn't be too bad, do you know that approximately one hundred and sixty five million cups of tea are drank a day." Theo said from the bed, Stiles had a sneaking suspicion that Theo liked making his bed smell like him.

Stiles closed down the web page "I'm more of a coffee person," he said before starting on the next country on his list.

"Iceland has more than twenty active volcanoes, Grimsvoetn and Hekla are the most active ones I think… don't quote me on it though." Theo said from the bed.

Stiles shrugged "Volcanoes aren't too bad, y'know. The word is originally from the name of a Roman god of fire, but then lava is pretty hot so…" Stiles said as he trailed off "that can be crossed off the list."

Theo chuckled lightly "Lava is pretty hot," he repeated "that's a major understatement."

"New Zealand equals more volcanoes so… might pass on that one." Stiles murmured to himself and heard Theo chuckle once more.

"Madagascar was governed by France from 1895. It became the Republic of Madagascar in 1993. Fun fact for you, in 2012 there was 103 living species of lemur in Madagascar." Theo said lightly.

Stiles paused what he was doing to spin around in his chair to look at the boy on his bed who looked amused. "Okay… how are you doing that?" he asked.

"What?" Theo asked as he rolled onto his stomach to look at Stiles "is it so hard to believe I have a good knowledge of the countries you're looking into?"

Stiles nodded his head "Yes!" he said.

Theo grinned and waved his phone at Stiles as he said "I was sat behind you when you made that list, I googled a couple things beforehand."

Stiles shook his head "You are unbelievable," he said.

"I know," Theo grinned.

* * *

 

_'cause certain things mend us when we're hanging on for dear life'_

It's strangely become a regular thing to happen; Theo will come round Stiles' after school most days and will end up spending the night. They happen to share the same bed every night, all physical boundaries that were once there are totally gone. Stiles hates to admit that he actually enjoyed snuggling into the warm body of Theo every night, it's comforting and while it doesn't entirely keep the nightmares away but it's manageable once more.

Stiles knows his dad is aware of Theo's presence in the house but he doesn't bring it up, not since Stiles' nightmares have stopped waking him every night.

"This is weird," Stiles commented in the darkness of his bedroom one night "I mean this isn't normal is it?" he added.

He felt Theo shrug slightly "It's not the strangest thing to happen in Beacon Hills though is it?" he responded with his own question.

"No I guess it's not," Stiles sighed.

"Why do you want to leave so badly?" Theo asked softly.

Stiles hadn't exactly hid his desire to leave the town behind when he was around Theo. "Werewolves I can handle," Stiles said "a sentence I never thought I would ever say. So much has happened here though; it feels like everything that's happened was in the wake of Scott being bitten. Believe it or not but I don't enjoy being in a constant state of anxiety with life or death situations hanging over my head and over my friends heads."

Theo was silent for a minute or so before he said "Surely that's a reason to stay," he said because you're not in this alone?"

Stiles closed his eyes as he snuggled closer "Maybe," he said "I feel like if I did leave I'd constantly be looking over my shoulder, I'd be suspicious of everyone around me and that's not the way to live surely."

"Like you were suspicious of me?" Theo asked.

"Were?" Stiles asked "still am buddy."

* * *

 

_'i'm friends with the monster that's under my bed_  
_get along with the voices inside of my head_  
_you're trying to save me stop holding your breath  
_ _and you think i'm crazy yeah you think i'm crazy'_

Things seemed to be looking up, he didn't look as tired as before and he didn't feel as tired. He had to deal with the looks of disbelief from Lydia, Malia, Scott and Liam whenever he walked down the hall with Theo like it was a normal occurrence which it happened to be for him nowadays. Of course when things start to look up it so happens that the other shoe drops.

Stiles is walking down the hallway by himself which is a welcome change, he's only going to his locker.

It's only something that he glimpses briefly, a mop of dark hair and tan skin and his mind flashes to Donovan. From there he thinks of chimeras and his dad who almost died because of a chimera attack. He can see his old group of friends at Scott's locker beside his and he's almost there, so close. But the hallway seems to stretch and spin, a wave of fear hitting Stiles right in the chest. He felt like he was going to be sick but at the same time he can't catch his breath properly. Stiles can feel his heart _pounding_ violently in his chest; he moved a shaky hand to his chest as he tried to breathe. The last time he had a panic attack… Scott.

In front of him he can see Theo appearing from around a corner looking frantic, there's a shoving match between him and Scott. Theo appeared beside him a moment later.

"Stiles!?" Theo said.

"I think…" he said "I think I'm having a panic attack."

He's being dragged into the locker room and he remembered it vividly of when it was him and Lydia and now he can't catch his breath and he's going to be sick… Theo shoved him up against a locker and pressed his lips against Stiles' and shit, he wasn't expecting that. When Theo pulled away, Stiles breathing had returned to normal but he felt like shit. He hand a hand bunched in Theo's shirt when the door to the locker room opened and Scott appeared. Stiles looked at his former best friend and doubled over, emptying his stomach contents all over the locker room floor.

"Oh, fuck." Stiles groaned afterwards.

"I'll get you some water," Theo said with a slightly disgusted face before excusing himself quite quickly.

Stiles felt Scott steer him out the locker room and to an empty classroom. He was happy with the change of rooms; he couldn't have stayed in the locker room without vomiting again.

"Stiles," Scott said softly "I hate this. I hate us not talking."

Stiles focused on taking in a couple of deep breaths "It's called giving me space Scott," he said "it's something I asked for."

"I hate having to see you suffer and not be able to do anything about," Scott said softly.

Stiles took a step back from him "You had no problem watching me suffer after… after…" Stiles can't bring himself to say the name in case it brings another attack "how do you think I feel knowing that happened? Scott he was going to kill me and I had no choice! You had no problem looking at me like I was a monster when the truth is that the guilt eats at me every single day and he haunts my nightmares. You don't get it, you don't. It was me or him Scott." He ranted.

Scott opened his mouth.

"So don't talk about not being able to watch me suffer because you have," Stiles said in a steady voice "you have."

Scott looked pained as he said "I'm your best friend Stiles," and then he added "how do you think it makes me feel when you tell me you need space away from me and then you and Theo are close not a couple days later. He tried to kill me Stiles and you only seem to be willing to be around him instead of your own pack."

"What pack Scott?" Stiles asked "cause we watched as the pack fell apart bit by bit. I don't know what to say… Theo is… I don't know. He helps me sleep."

Scott took a step toward Stiles "I need my best friend," he said softly and sadly "I can't do this without you Stiles."

Stiles looked down at his shoes "Scott I have been there from the very beginning," he said "from when you got bit to facing a questionably sane alpha, a kanima turned werewolf, a crazy darach teacher at the same time as an alpha pack and the whole kitsune thing and all the crazy shit that's happened. I have never once just up and left, I stayed beside you. I need space away from it _all_ Scott. You seem to attract it all like a magnet and I need a break before I truly snap and end up in Eichen House for the rest of my life."

Scott nodded his head "Okay," he said.

The door to the class room opened to Theo holding a see through bottle of water.

* * *

 

_'your lips feel warm to the touch_  
you can bring me back to life  
on the outside you're ablaze and alive  
but you're dead inside'

It's a new day. A new beginning of sorts.

Stiles wakes first and lays in the light that falls upon them in the bed, he listened to the soft breathing of Theo and thought of his lips on Stiles' own. They had been warm and demanding.

Stiles feels himself slowly remove himself from the bed to head to the bathroom to have a bath, he could pretend he's washing away all the horrid memories he's seen with his own eyes. He can pretend he's cleansing himself of everything he's done. It's a nice thought. There are some things he wouldn't change though. He slipped into the warm water and let a content sigh slip past his lips, every time he gets in the bath he remembers the time he had to be pushed under cold water and ice at Deaton's animal clinic.

He doesn't stay in the bath too long because Theo would wake and wonder where he had gone. Stiles has hated how he's grown attached to Theo and weirdly vice versa.

" _I also came back for you_ ," runs through his mind once more.

He's slipped into some clothes for the day before he lies on the bed once more beside Theo who not a moment later inhales and exhales softly before he murmured "You smell nice,"

"Theo," Stiles said carefully "about yesterday…"

Theo looked up at Stiles with a guarded expression "If I crossed the line I'm sorry but I'd heard that-" he said sounding a bit frantic.

Stiles thought it was adorable; he leaned in and connected their lips again. To see if memory had served him right (it had) and effectively shut Theo up (hm, interesting). He pulled away with a thoughtful expression.

"What… what was that for?" Theo asked sounding breathless. Stiles liked that sound on him.

Stiles smiled "Just checking something," he said.

"How about you check again?" Theo asked "you'll have a more thorough answer then."

Stiles pulled a face "You've got morning breath," he pointed out.

"Oh shut up," Theo said as he brought an arm around Stiles' neck and pulled him down so he could connect their lips once more.

* * *

 

_'i look and stare so deep in your eyes  
_ _i touch on you more and more every time'_

"I miss you," Scott said softly in front of Stiles' house in the middle of the night.

"I miss you too," Stiles said before moving forward and throwing his arms around his best friends neck for a hug that he never knew he needed this much. Scott hugged him tightly and Stiles wondered if he needed to remind Scott he was only human until Scott loosened his hold a little bit.

"You reek of him," Scott mumbled into his neck.

Stiles grew warm at the words; he didn't know how he was going to tell his best friend that he was currently seeing the same person that had almost very nearly killed him. "I'm sorry," is all Stiles said instead because Scott wasn't stupid, he would figure it out one way or another if he hadn't already.

"I know," Scott sighed as he released Stiles "it's okay, if that's what is helping you to get better then I'm not going to get in the way of that."

"I've been an ass haven't I?" Stiles said softly because here is his best friend making amends and telling Stiles it's okay for him to go out with Scott's enemy.

Scott smiled softly as she shook his head lightly "No," he said "I should have been there when you needed me the most and I'm sorry I wasn't. I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt someone, I think I was just… I was hurt that you didn't tell me."

Stiles nodded his head slightly "Is it okay to go back to bed now or…" he said.

Scott laughed softly "I'm sorry for waking you up so late… or early," he said "I just… I needed to tell you I was sorry, that I miss you and I hate not talking to you."

"Ditto, ditto and ditto." Stiles said smiling before Scott was waving at him and heading to his bike.

Stiles quietly made his way back up the stairs and slipped into his bedroom, closing the door softly as to not wake Theo. When he got under the covers though it was less than a second before Theo was snuggling into him and whispered "You smell like _Scott_ ,"

"He came by quick," Stiles said softly and pushed his face into the pillow when Theo started placing kisses to his neck, soft ones at first which proceeded into him nipping at Stiles' skin sure enough to leave a hickey.

"I like it when you smell like me," Theo murmured into his ear softly before placing a quick kiss to the sensitive flesh there and then he was connecting their lips, hands roaming from Stiles' hair to his shoulders, down his chest and resting on his hips.

"You are insatiable," Stiles managed to gasp out when Theo allowed them to part ways for some much needed oxygen.

Theo placed a couple kisses along Stiles' shoulder and neck again as he hummed in agreement "I've waited a long time to have you like this," he said "a _long_ time Stiles."

Stiles felt his heart rate increase at Theo's words causing the boy to grin. His hand lying atop of Stiles' chest. "You're really not letting up are you?" Stiles asked "it's midnight and I want to sleep."

"You'd leave me all worked up like this?" Theo murmured feigning shock.

Stiles groaned "Theo,"

Theo chuckled softly before pressing a soft kiss to Stiles' lips. "The morning then," Theo said.

"You're ridiculous," Stiles muttered.

The room is silent again before Theo murmured "Did you know Madagascar is the size of Texas?"

Stiles closed his eyes and laughed "And again I repeat that you're ridiculous."


	2. 2.

_'cause it's too cold_  
_for you here and now_  
_so let me hold  
_ _both your hands in the holes of my sweater'_

Stile's breath hitched at the slight burn and the pleasure coursing through him. He felt Theo's fingers dig into his hips painfully, sure enough to leave bruises. "I love you," Theo breathed into his ear before he pressed open mouthed kisses to Stiles' shoulder.

"I love you too," Stiles managed to breath out.

* * *

 

_'another day shipwrecked_  
_can you hear my prayer  
_ _if you have the answer let me know'_

Stiles can't explain it, can't find the right words that could fully sum up the bad feeling that has been stirring in his bones for the last couple of days. Something bad was surely coming, something that would shatter their plans. He was on the verge of a panic attack, all day every day recently. He'd lay awake in the night trying to prepare himself for whatever was coming.

Theo had his chimera pack and Scott was slowly reassembling his pack, the only thing Scott needed to do was get Malia and Lydia back onside. Theo was hunched over a book while Scott looked tiredly at the pages in front of his face, they didn't know what they was up against how could they possibly know what to research?

"I have a bad feeling guys," Stiles spoke "like a really bad, something awful, is going to happen."

Theo looked up from the book in his lap "It's going to be okay Stiles," he said "what we're doing now… it's working."

Scott's jaw tensed briefly, he still didn't like Theo but he was trying and Stiles was grateful for the effort his best friend was putting in.

"I mean like end of the world awful Theo," Stiles sighed "something bad _is_ going to happen, I can feel it."

Liam frowned and murmured "I thought Lydia was the banshee,"

Everyone was tired; the morale of the group in the room was pretty low. Stiles knew he had a tendency to pick and worry at the smallest things but in Beacon Hills the small things have tended to be a cause for concern. Theo sat up straighter in the chair he had previously been slouched in "I know there is a lot on the line and I'm part of the reason that you're worrying," he said "but this chimera has to be stopped and if crossing the Dread Doctors means we can _save_ a lot of lives then I'll face the repercussions."

Stiles continued his pacing back and forth in the room, he couldn't possibly sit still. He hadn't been still in the past couple of days; he's got a nervous energy he can't quite work off. He's wringing his hands together as he paced, there was nothing that could be said that would offer any sort of comfort to his restless mind.

"Is it always this tense?" Mason asked with a look of tiredness and a look of awe, Stiles remembered those days. How new everything was, it was exciting and scary and didn't feel real. He felt bad for the boy because it only goes downhill from there on, everyone becomes a suspect and any little thing that happens _must_ be part of some bigger and scarier plan.

It breaks you. Stiles was damaged, mentally. Theo would assure him he wasn't damaged, just far too experienced.

"Death, doom and gloom all the time, twenty four seven buddy." Stiles informed him.

"It's not been all bad," Scott said softly "remember when you were trying to help me control when I would shift and keyed that car?" he asked "you got me beat up pretty bad because of that."

Stiles remembered, it seemed like a lifetime ago but he remembered.

* * *

 

 _'ain't no sleep when the wicked play_  
all we do is get laid  
ain't no love when the wicked run  
all we do is get lay off  
lay off  
lay off  
we the wicked ones'

Stiles knew about Theo's previous affiliation with the Dread Doctors and he still stayed by him, what kind of person did that make him? Terrible?

The bad feeling that was bone deep hadn't gone; it had only intensified over the next couple of days. Stiles could barely eat or sleep and he knew he had people worried, his dad specifically. Theo had expressed his concerns so Stiles had promised to at least try and eat something after meeting Scott, they were planning on how to retrieve Lydia and convince Malia to re-join the pack. They'd all fallen out of touch with each other.

Stiles was jumpy and his mind was playing tricks on himself he reminded himself as he walked home along the dark streets of Beacon Hills. There was nothing to panic about, he just needed a good night's sleep and he'd be feeling slightly less like shit.

But there's a sound in his ears causing him to tilt his head and press it into his shoulder in hopes it would disappear, he couldn't put a name to the sound. He'd heard this noise only a handful of times before but it _couldn't_ be… not here, not _now_. "He was supposed to _remove_ the obstacles," he heard faintly, it had him quickening his pace and glancing over his shoulder "now we're going to remove the _distraction_." Stiles _couldn't_ see anyone or anything in sight, he must be hearing things. He's slowly losing the plot, surely. But there's a flicker in the corner of his eye, something that caught his attention. It's under a street lamp, the soft glow flickering and three shadows emerging.

His palms were sweating and his feet were hitting the pavement hard, he missed his Jeep. Stiles never expected he'd be on the receiving end of this but that bad feeling that had buried itself deep within his bones had affected him, the lack of sleep and eating had him feeling nauseous and dizzy.

His head _hurt_ , his body ached and his throat felt so dry it hurt to swallow. He didn't remember his bed being this cold and uncomfortable, opening his eyes felt like too much effort but as he lolled his head to the side, he was met with the unmistakeable feeling of cold metal. That caused him to jerk slightly and feeling restricted in the use of his limbs. His arms and legs were bound to the chair, this felt eerily similar to the time he was in Eichen House. "What," he murmured as he tugged and then looked at his surroundings.

It didn't exactly resemble a very hygienic medical practice; Stiles knew where he was though. The Dread Doctors had caught up with him, had he passed out? Fainted? He couldn't remember. All he knew was the panic bubbling up inside of him had him wanting to shout and scream for help. Could he get away with shouting? Were they here?

Stiles closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to even his breathing, he couldn't have a panic attack here, not now.

Upon opening his eyes Stiles saw the three Doctors approaching him, each with a tool in hand. The ghost of the bite from Donovan on his shoulder ached as he tried to tug on his ties "No," he said "please."

He tugged as hard as he could on the ties and the material cutting into his skin didn't faze him as he shouted out "No!"

"Scott!" Stiles shouted as he tried to pull on the ties once more "Theo!" he knew it was a hopeless attempt but he prayed some _thing_ could hear his distress. He felt the sharp prick of a needle in his forearm that had his vision blurring and tiredness taking over once more.

* * *

 

 _'you were a walking talking corpse at best_  
_and i swear i couldn't wait to get you off my chest_  
_and when you asked us why_  
we couldn't look you in your eyes'

Scott watched as the realisation set in that Stiles was _missing_ , Theo was _angry_. Scott had sat and endured Theo shouting at him, how irresponsible and stupid he had been to let Stiles walk home on his own when they had teamed up against the Dread Doctors. Scott had sat and taken it because he should have offered Stiles a lift, a quicker way home. Theo took it out on the classroom, smashing stuff and tipping things over.

He'd never seen Theo _so_ angry but the wrecking of the classroom seemed to tire him out. "He's _defenceless_ ," Theo had sighed as he sank down the wall "this is because of me."

"Don't underestimate him," Scott said "he's not entirely defenceless."

Theo looked at him "If he's hurt because of me," he said and stopped as he shook his head.

* * *

 

 _'sick of the lack of signal_  
_sick of the lack of touch_  
_sick of the static voice_  
it's not enough it's not enough  
baby it's hard to be just what you need when all i speak is static screams  
can you hear me?'

Stiles opened his eyes once more feeling groggier than ever, it took a moment to realise he wasn't tied down to the dreaded bed any more, instead he only had one tie and that was being shackled to the _floor_. He brought a hand up to his forearm where he remembered a brief shooting of pain and then sleep. How long had he been out of it? How long had it been outside of this room?

He was alone; the only noises consisted of the slight buzz from the lights up ahead mixed in with his breathing. The thought of his dad had him wanting to vomit; his dad would surely know something is up. He didn't know how long he'd been here, Stiles made a mental note of investing in a watch for future reference. He couldn't feel his phone in his back pocket.

Stiles tugged his leg that was shackled to the floor and couldn't believe how heavy the chain was.

He slumped back against the metal pillar that someone so kindly placed him near. Stiles scoffed into the silence at the situation he found himself in. Of course something bad was going to happen, he _hated_ being right or well… he hated being so anxious about everything that he'd proved himself right about something bad happening. Might not have been end of the world awful but this was pretty awful.

* * *

 

 _'waiting for a roar_  
_looking at the mutating sky_  
the city is my church  
it wraps me in the sparkling twilight'

Stiles is aware of his surroundings when he comes to, he's in a car and there's a heavy protective arm over his shoulders. He frowned because the Doctors are not meant to have an air of protectiveness around them and Stiles should definitely not be smelling Theo's aftershave… _Theo's aftershave_ is what was invading his sense of smell, Stiles jolted immediately as he opened his eyes, practically hitting the top of his head on the roof of the car. "What… what…" he said looking at a worried looking Theo and then looking at Scott who was behind the steering wheel.

"Stiles," Theo said calmly "you're okay, we found you."

"I'm dreaming," Stiles said as he shook his head "this is a dream… whatever they injected me with must be causing this because I don't remember… I would've _known_ … what?"

Theo frowned as he reached for him "They injected you with something?" he asked sounding concerned "where?"

"Does it matter where?" Scott asked sounding unsure "surely whatever it is has done what it's needed to do."

Theo shot a glare at Scott "It matters to me," he said "I'm fairly certain it was only a strong sedative but you never know what to expect with them."

Stiles frowned "I must be dreaming…" he said, he was warm and Theo was there with Scott.

Theo's lips lifted upwards ever so slightly "Does this feel like a dream?" he asked before moving in and pressing their lips together once more, hands travelling up Stiles' neck and playing with the hair at the back of his head.

Theo was strong and present under his hands and Scott was making a point of keeping his eyes on the road "I'm really not there anymore?" he asked in disbelief.

Theo nodded his head "It took a day and a half but it brought everyone together long enough to find you," he explained "I'm so sorry Stiles."

Stiles shook his head "It's not your fault," he said as he allowed his body to relax for now. He remembered walking home from Scott's and he remembered what they'd said. Remembered how they said they needed to remove the distraction…

It's difficult to fully comprehend that he's sleeping in his own bed with Theo slinging a protective arm and leg over him; he knew sleep would be a difficult thing to grasp but he was home and he was safe. Stiles assumed getting grabbed by the enemy was going to become a regular occurrence in this line of work. Could this be considered a line of work? Stiles wanted to snort at the thought. Maybe they could set up a supernatural task force at the police station. The town would really be considered utterly mad then.

"What are you thinking about?" Theo asked sleepily.

Stiles shifted slightly so his body was nearer the other boy's "I was thinking how Madagascar is starting to sound like a good option to reside in permanently," he joked softly "I don't know, I just wondered if this is going to be my life now. Working to keep the out of control supernatural creatures in line and keep from harming anyone. God, I can't even picture myself in a normal job anymore."

Theo was silent as he brought a hand up to trace invisible patterns on Stiles' shoulder "You could be a writer," he suggested softly "you could right about all the crazy things that have happened and nobody would think anything of it."

Stiles laughed "I couldn't picture myself as a best-selling author, could you?"

"I don't know," Theo sighed "I'd buy a book by Stiles Stilinski though."

* * *

 

 _'come and take a walk on the wild side_  
let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain  
you like your girls insane'

"We've got our whole lives ahead of us," Stiles would repeat to himself in front of the mirror, it's a mantra of sorts. It's meant to be encouraging a positive thought process and widen his horizons. Technically yes, Stiles has a long life ahead of him but shit happens and he could still be hit by a car or a bus, he could be robbed and beaten, he could be killed by a supernatural creature or… Stiles shook his head. He's meant to be thinking _positively_ and not obsessing over the 'ifs' of his future.

His conversation with Theo in bed still plays on a loop in his mind, he could write about all the crazy stuff he's been through. He could tell his story while providing advice to others who could be in need of help. If this was going to be a career option then he certainly wouldn't be running out of material anytime soon.

"Stiles, you okay?" his dad asked from the doorway.

Stiles turned away from his reflection in the mirror and smiled at his dad "I'm okay," he said "I was just… trying out some advice the counsellor gave me once." He added as an afterthought.

His dad looked slightly relieved that he was accepting _some_ help "Good," he said "I hate to think of what you've been through and not being able to help you."

"I'm going to be okay dad," Stiles said.

It felt foreign to Stiles, the prospect of being _okay_. He envied people who could walk down a street without crippling anxiety about what horrors nightfall could bring to town. With Scott though, it was bearable. Theo was there even if it meant having to deal with the awkward tension between him and Scott. The pack was slowly coming back together, they were healing. One day though, one day Stiles _would_ be okay. He'll have a fancy degree, a couple books under his belt maybe and possibly a family of his own. After all, he still had his whole life ahead of him.

"Do you ever think about the future?" Stiles asked Scott once as he was driving Scott home.

Scott looked out the window as he shrugged "Sometimes," he answered "I like to think that it's got to be better than our present."

Stiles gripped the steering wheel tighter for a brief second before relaxing his hand "It's not so bad," he said "aside from the anxiety, fear and near death experiences it is worth it knowing that I've still got my best friend."

"Do you ever think Peter has a lot to answer for?" Scott asked sounding faintly amused "we'd still be losers at school who worried about not making the lacrosse team and being invited to parties if he hadn't of bitten me that night."

Stiles huffed out a laugh "Perhaps so," he said "I feel like I've got to take some responsibility though, if we'd just been honest with my dad that night then he would've just driven you home instead of you having to walk through the woods."

"We would've been grounded for life," Scott pointed out "it's not so bad though, we've done some good and saved lives. I wouldn't change it, would you?" he asked.

Stiles shrugged and pulled a face "Ehh, some bits could be tweaked." He said.

* * *

 

 _'it's shaking the sky and i'm following lightning_  
i'll recover if you keep me alive  
don't leave me behind can you see me i'm shining  
and it's you that i've been waiting to find'

Life isn't exactly perfect but Stiles couldn't imagine going back to being the boy who was barely recognised by half of his current closest friends and not spending all of his free time solving the latest supernatural mystery.

"You know I love you right?" Theo said one evening they were lying in bed watching as the sun set and the sky changed from blue to a burst of a mesmerizing pink and purple before it would slowly fade to darkness. But it wouldn't be entirely too bad, the nightfall would bring the stars and they provided some beauty in darkness.

"I love you too," Stiles murmured not able to recall a time he felt this at peace. It was a first. He wasn't busy running around trying to help Scott or he wasn't fizzing with urgency to find some information. Stiles was just… still.

"I know things seem bad now," Theo said "but they'll get better. They always do."

Stiles hummed in agreement "We have got our whole lives ahead of us," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used to inspire were:  
> 1- Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood  
> 2- Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - XYLO  
> 3- Wicked ones - DOROTHY  
> 4- Fire - PVRIS  
> 5- White Noise - PVRIS  
> 6- Midnight City - M83  
> 7- Born to Die - Lana Del Rey  
> 8- Shine - Years & Years

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all of you! I really shouldn't have spent my whole afternoon writing this when i have 3 outstanding fics that need to be updated buut i had Steo feels -cries- and i was struck with the idea and was like I NEED TO WRITE THIS!
> 
> The songs used in the fic are
> 
> 1- Rescue Me - You Me At Six  
> 2- Emergency - Nothing But Thieves (FAVE!)  
> 3- Louder - Neon Jungle  
> 4- Crying For No Reason - Katy B  
> 5- Moondust - Jaymes Young (The stripped version is amazing and very much recommended)  
> 6- Certain Things - James Arthur  
> 7- The Monster - Eminem & Rihanna  
> 8- Dead Inside - Muse  
> 9- Crazy In Love - Sofia Karlberg


End file.
